Je suis ma propre muse

or tu ne es pas ma muse

or je suis amusé par ma propre muse étant

or ma muse précédente ne me divertit

or muse amusante, disparue

or muse amusante, parti, je m’amuse

yes, that’s it. back to the steady-state of being, for a change. At least I’ll be able to get *some* work done!

A dolorous combination of caprice along with my own inability to temper reactions to horrific stories of past abuse — perhaps the subtext of an upcoming novella or multi-media work exploring how humans can say anything and how their words needn’t be connected to actions of consequence: hardly moving the neurons necessary to produce diaphragmatic contractions and subsequent guttural exhalations. Talk is cheap. Lived life is the ultimate test of … life and, consequently of heart.

stretching it out

In class again, sitting around in a circle, engaged in trying to make learning and life synonymous. But this format is either a layered anachronism related to age (where I’m not ‘getting’ contemporary learning facilitation), or it’s merely the ongoing and standard state of the system. At this juncture of history. damn. The meeting as ‘mass-clusterfuck’ comes back to mind. Corporate HQ, Union Oil Company of California: Dennis Mett, VP of the International Division, choreographing nothing of the clusterfuck’s ‘dog and pony show’, the seating around the board table, being called upon for opinion, and volunteering mission-critical information. Profit drives us. Hydrocarbons produced a certain lack of order.

Where the results of expression are neither compelling of any inspiration nor are they indicative of a heightened state of being at all. They are merely the spun-off dross of indeterminate be-ing, as unintentional as expelled breath, and as such, seem unworthy of any note. Were we conscious of every molecule of air that was once lodged in the humid recesses of an Other’s lung, noting the correspondence, the resonance, or at least the shared humanity, we would be left in a state of particulate madness.

Trolling, trawling across Germany. From point to point. (recollecting, when was it we saw each other last?) it’s been a while, at least five years.

Of course, intentional breath/breathing is quite a powerful medium for expression.

some points and hints for students :: a remix

point == be where you are, look deep into the world from your point of view, and into the self, and out to the Other. share what you experience

point == find a flow that you can tap into, do so, pay attention to it, and see where it takes you

point == learn how to focus your energies on something; do that, at least for a time, and see what reflects and refracts from that focus

point == be sensitive to what resonates in/with your system; when something resonates, listen to the tone of the heart and any other resonate sounds within

point == action makes anything possible — there is no such thing as failure, there is only change

point == be open to all possible flows — incoming and outgoing — this will show up as a(n) (r)evolution in your life as well as a lived practice (praxis)

point == movement along/with(in) an intuitive flow will reveal truth in ever-changing forms — seek out that internal movement

point == creativity and rationality are two words that partially describe human behaviors — no words can describe the full reality of behavior. creativity is the movement of energies, rationality is the play of social abstractions — deal with both, you will have to anyway

point == seriously enjoy what you do, — if you don’t, then try changing what you do until the enjoyment returns — smile, it’s Lighter than you think

point == keep your own rules and points in mind while understanding that rules are only socially applied pathways that determine possible ways of human collaboration. collaborate often: define new pathways!

hints:

breathe, listen to your breath, listen to the breath of other things

understand what energy is and where your energy comes from

be a receiver and transmitter of energy

be open to energy flows

absorb many forms of energy

internalize or embody memory

drink plenty of water

be someplace, not just anyplace, and not everywhere

participate : share

watch the sky often

25 om’s

the madness of the road transforms into … peace …

(stereo audio, 30 mb)

Wanderlust

I kept coming back to this route for respite from my work, and for my work too, because thinking is generally thought of as doing nothing in a production-oriented culture, and doing nothing is hard to do. It’s best done by disguising it as doing something, and the something closest to doing nothing is walking. Walking itself is the intentional act closest to the unwilled rhythms of the body, to breathing and the beating of the heart. It strikes a delicate balance between working and idling, being and doing. It is a bodily labor that produces nothing but thoughts, experiences, arrivals. — Rebecca Solnit

Solnit, Rebecca (2000). Wanderlust: A History of Walking. New York: Penguin Books.

It’s hard to brightly imagine that when we decide to retreat to the desert or to the mountains to walk, it is a process deeply colored and, literally, in/de-formed by relatively recent cultural contingency.

The retreat is steeped in a socially constructed reality that began to emerge around William Wordsworth and J. J. Rousseau’s time and was sparked, in part, by their actual perambulations and especially the writings that welled-up whilst they were on the road (The Excursion, by Wordsworth, for example, and Rousseau’s Reveries of the Solitary Walker).

But in a completely different sense, walking (and be-ing while walking) is ahistoric. Because the present moment is never to be repeated, nor is a life-time to happen twice, the momentary events of that particular movement are unique, and uniquely inspiring. Embodied movement is a passage through the flux of difference, regardless of the pathway. And although I cannot anymore go to the delicious extremes of span and height and endurance that so many others have done and will do, it is not extremity that brings the timeless essence of movement. When all is change, the senses are taught to discern the minute difference of the everyday, ever more. In this, the near becomes just as exotic and inspiring as the far and less reachable places.

The End of the Road and The Onset of Dreaming

roadside memorial, near Bitter Springs, Arizona, USA, March 2010
ed: This short note is the epilogue for the Migrating:Art:Academies: book. Because of the heavy-duty editorial tasks, I otherwise didn’t have time to write something more comprehensive on the ideas surrounding movement and learning, maybe next time!

We suspect that even though travel in the modern world seems to have been taken over by the Commodity — even though the networks of convivial reciprocity seem to have vanished from the map — even though tourism seems to have triumphed — even so — we continue to suspect that other pathways still persist, other tracks, unofficial, not noted on the map, perhaps even secret pathways still linked to the possibility of an economy of the Gift, smugglers’ routes for free spirits, known only to the geomantic guerrillas of the art of travel. — Hakim Bey, Overcoming Tourism

This volume Migrating:Art:Academies: represents yet another step on the (linguistic) migration from nation to nation, academy to academy, culture to culture, friend to friend, order to order, life through life. As with the first volume, Migrating Realities, any impossible contortions of English are this editor’s responsibility, and given the time constraints for this latest MigAA tome, there are sure to be some short-comings. But then, of all the movements within the social, language migrates the most of all. It is never static. Nor should it be, especially as it accompanies the learning process — a process which is essentially about encountering and naming that which is not (yet) known. more “The End of the Road and The Onset of Dreaming”

Empty Infinity

Without beginning, without end,
Without past, without future.
A halo of light surrounds the world of the law.
We forget one another, quiet and pure, altogether powerful and empty.
The emptiness is irradiated by the light of the heart and of heaven.
The water of the sea is smooth and mirrors the moon in its surface.
The clouds disappear in blue space; the mountains shine clear.
Consciousness reverts to contemplation; the moon’s disk rests alone.

Wilhelm, R., 1962. The Secret of the Golden Flower: A Chinese Book of Life, New York, NY: Harvest / HBJ Book.

Researching more of Wilhelm’s powerful translation work that continues to widen an opening door into an ultimately livable space. The dorsal/ventral (toku – nin or Circulation of Light) breathing technique elucidated here — even when practiced with flawed concentration — has an immediate and profound affect on the state of the system. I am even surprised with the intensity of change which ensues. The body is straighter, uplifted, and the balance of body heat has shifted drastically — the chronically over-heated head is cooler, the feet and hands warmer. This shift has not yet directly impacted rising gall (yang) in surprise (reactive) situations, but when the breathing becomes first nature, it appears to have the potential to do that. The base-line of calm has shifted for the better. Will have to consult Heiji about these affects. A daily practice of some minutes, with as many reminders shot through the many unconscious moments of non-breathing, seems to be an auspicious start. There is no going back on this discovered knowledge.

(How to Sit) Zazen

It’s a good example of the affect of mediation on socially-generated practices of any sort [this came into mind when I saw a poster advertising a IEEE conference here in Sydney. The posted contained all the recognized and standardized functions of conferences anywhere on any subject. The cocktail evening cruises on the ________ (fill in the blank) river/harbor/lake. The hospitality suites in the _________ (fill in the blank) hotel. The keynotes by famous personages. The plenaries, the break-outs, the posters, workshops, and seminars. yadda, yadda. Don’t people get tired of this endless repetition of heavily coded social protocols?]

The following was downloaded from the UM (University of Minnesota) original Gopher online text retrieval system sometime in the winter of 1991-92. I think it’s the first document (extant) that I downloaded via that new networked document system — the direct precursor of the WWW. Coming around in a very long, very wide circle, from the roots of the digital coming-to-being in the last millennium, breathe deeply:

1. Sit on the forward third of a chair or cushion.
more “(How to Sit) Zazen”

bush-walking

Today, after that small amount of moisture in the night, the entire place is vibrating. When standing still, there is a loud and continuous background buzzing that is non-specific in source direction. Standing near a particular blossoming plant, there is the sensation of particular bees and other insects doing their thing, but otherwise, there is this background humming that has no point source but rather simply is — like the hissing of blood in the ear.

On the way in to Sycamore Spring both times, I note the existence of a lone Cottonwood tree growing up in the middle of a lightly sloping alluvial fan below a sizable unnamed mesa. The only possibility for a Cottonwood to be there is water, and plenty of it. A good objective for a bushwhack. After the numerous encounters with slithering and rattling things yesterday, attention to movement and especially foot placement becomes aligned with breathing. Of course, any movement has to be calculated when in such an environment. Miscalculated movement will be punished by some extremely sharp and pointed object intersecting and likely penetrating the body wall. I escape these four days with only two of those painful encounters, both arising in the thin slice of time between a visual scan of upcoming terrain and a glance at some specific object within the field of view. Then aiiii-shit! as the pain jolts upwards from compromised shin.

This bushwhack takes me to the Cottonwood. It looks to be around a hundred years old, there are a few other water-seeking plants, a tamarisk, rooted in a whitish rock ledge. Apparently some near-surface water is available. Paradise in the shade under the tree. Except for the stench of death which I trace to the desiccating corpse of a cow 20 meters away in the scrub. The shifting wind brings eye-watering wafts on occasion, but otherwise I spend an hour or two soaking up the energy of being under the lush green canopy surrounded by hard-core Sonoran desert. It is a singularity like Sycamore Spring on a smaller scale and with no running surface water.

Minuscule F/A-18 fighters are frequently dog-fighting in the airspace above. In the day and night. Moving in and out of unaided vision, tightly circling each other, dropping flares, and, with afterburners, roaring in such volume that all ambient sound is swallowed. For our nation’s security. So it goes.

Otherwise, commercial flight contrails gradually fill the sky with high-level cirrus clouds that soften the terrain and its re-radiative impact, but this effect diminishes the Light of the desert — and with that, its nature; along with distorting the energy flux among the organisms living here. They did not evolve with spent jet fuel clouds hanging overhead to shade them from the burnishing sun. This is a problem. Just another problem that the human species have applied through their amplification system — this is the waste product, waste energy, which alters the environment.

The rest of the day is a slow and rambling return to base. Run across some small mining digs, one trenched into a pegmatite dike that includes some coarsely crystallized black tourmaline with its classic trigonal (rhombohedral hemimorphic) cross-sections. Someone has tramped this land, and in the hunt for extractive wealth, has, literally, left no stone un-turned. The West is everywhere scarred by these digs from small two-meter test pits to the massive kilometer-wide open-pit gashes. That mineral bonanza, that natural ‘surplus’ regime drove and still drives the development of the West. Straight north of here about 15 kilometers, is the Phelps-Dodge copper/molybdenum open-pit monstrosity. Without which, well, as the old Colorado School of Mines bumper sticker suggested — Ban Mining, Let the Bastards Freeze in the Dark — the developed world could not exist.

wacky yachts

Meeting life, being submerged in its flow remains only a goal. Like breathing. Where a developed consciousness of breathing becomes a stabilizing influence on the extremes of condition that impress the body and the soul as night turns to day and day following transitions to night.

By the same author of Where Are the Customers’ Yachts?, Andrea passes this wacky niblet (below) along. The yacht question is incredibly germane in the situation these days when a vast swath of the population still takes hits on the market (is foolish to listen to dullards/brokers) and then calculates for a few seconds in some small cavity in brain why the brokers still have the yachts, but then passes over any clear thought in order to stay up with discussions about lipstick in the national election. sheesh.

Wacky had plenty of other stuff too. He had different shells that he had found himself when he visited the seashore. Some of them had been on the beach, but some of them he had got out of almost two feet of water, which meant that when he had reached down for them, he had nearly had to put his nose in the water, because you have to take those chances if you want to get something valuable. The snail shells made a sound quite like the ocean, and the clam shells were going to be useful to keep collar buttons in as soon as he got old enough to wear collar buttons.

He had only one college pennant, but it was of the Colorado School of Mines, which is a college where they teach you to dig. Mr. Wallaby said that was more than they taught you in other colleges, so he wouldn’t need any other pennants. — Fred Schwed, Jr., “Wacky, The Small Boy,” 1939

mantis

preying, or is it a praying mantis hooks into window screen wires, on the outside, with the fluttering Others gathering to the seductive Lights. and, a feasting begins, first a snapping quivering snatch, and some bug is devoured from head to ass, wings and legs fluttering down when attaching flesh and tendon is consumed. imagining the mandibles, a multiplicity of angled jaws cracking, shredding carapace for juices and soft meat inside. a crab feast. a result of meditative posturing, carefully controlled breathing. and fast reflexes. a neck that can pivot the two 180-degree eye-spheres. serrated arm ridges clamp prey. deadly machine, and a shivering to watch.

hooligans

A long stroll to the Hauptbahnhof for tomorrow’s tickets. End up using the electronic ticket machine which leaves me with exactly no change because it doesn’t take EUR 100 bills. Fortunately I have exactly the cost, EUR 87.50 from Kiel to Aachen. Should have gotten a rail card 4-days/one-month it would have saved me a bit, too late now.

Muttering German phrases, words, repeating to self the texts on signs. Down to the harbor, ever so often, becoming mindful, not enough, but bringing the breathing and the hyper pace down a few levels, and deepening the breathing and shifting the worldview. On the way down there are several conglomerations of police in full riot gear. Apparently a football match between Lübeck and Kiel is taking place today. The police presence is overwhelming, and at the Hauptbahnhof there are at least 100 officers deployed, forming a press to search fans as they get off the train from Lübeck. Some are outfitted in dark green cloth-covered body armor, some are in black. No clear difference between the two uniforms. They mostly are large and imposing figures, a few women among the men. The football fans repeatedly break out in hoarse and echoing chants. The police escort the city buses to the stadium with riot vans, along with officers filming everything on dv-cams.

The sonic ambience is interesting. Getting good use out of the Zoom H4 (Ed: redundant link, now to the H4n-Pro which is way better than the discontinued H4). It seems to get pretty decent sound with the built-in microphones. I have yet to try the external phantom miking possibilities. Now it’s a question of getting the content online, though, I’m way behind on that, when each day is full of in-ma-face email pressures and logistics issues. So it goes!

(00:05:05, stereo audio, 10.5 mb)

Then Björn sends very dramatic footage from the riots in Copenhagen, right from his flat overlooking Sankt Hans Torv. He caught some of the molotov cocktails going off and some rude crowd action until the tear gas forced him to close his window.

reflections on the classroom

to the IDC list

sotto voce: Although, as a University educator — I agree with John’s appraisal of the condition of the contemporary educational institution (having taught in around 50 institutions in Europe and the US), there is this critical area to consider: yes, the classroom has not undergone a physical re-design, but perhaps it doesn’t need one. When the door closes, it has the potential to be a space for transcendent encounters between the participants IF the oppressive effects of the fear that is instilled by the dominant educational system in both student and teacher — the fear of nonconformity, the fear of personal idiosyncrasies, and the fear of the unknown — if the fear is mitigated. I believe this fear is a result of the accumulation of pathological (unbalanced) relationships that are mandated between humans when operating in hierarchic situations. If, as a facilitator more “reflections on the classroom”

after floods and a root canal

high water. seemed like Iceland there for a few days, gale rains straight from California, turning the yard of dark brown basalt soil to a soupy flow. rain barrel full many times over. dry washes overflowing (surprising neophyte Westerners), streets awash (pavement rapidly pounded to soaking pot-holes from cheap aggregate of soft volcanic ash from the cinder cones around San Francisco Peaks), then a day later, cloudless blue, and the normal total dryness in air, sky, and land. no end to the drought, though for the days of rain, those recent arrivals think it is now okay to plan ten new golf courses instead of two.

Dr. Donaldson performs a root canal on the four long roots of a molar, the one that was giving me so much trouble over the last eight months. low-grade infection had been irritating the nerves so this is the only way to go. his technique is incredibly focused and attentive: I spend the 90 minutes in the chair concentrating on my breathing and listening through bone to the sounds made by the different borers, rasps, probes, and sonic cleaners. wishing it would be possible to record. contact mike on forehead perhaps? have to have direct bone contact, though, no flesh. one could mount a small contact mike directly onto a tooth: noize!

wha’?

dinner party, bed late, up early to jump on the train to Bremen, Steffi cuts x-ray legal class at the clinic and drives me to the Kieler Bahnhof. change trains at Hamburg Dammtor Bahnhof. Frieder and Susi meet me at the Bremen Bahnhof an hour later. not having a mobile phone is annoying already.

preparing for the intensity of the workshop that is to start tomorrow (Monday) morning. it should be quite interesting, especially after the impulse from the last two energized/energizing weeks. breathing the air of ‘old Europe,’ I don’t find this problematic, it’s more stimulating than shopping, consuming to save the world economy, that’s for sure. don’t wanna live with that burden.

transformative reactions

arrive the night before Valentine’s Day in Kiel following the first European workshop of the Second Nomadic Phase. if things proceed like this all the time, there is no going back to the core of Empire, in retro vision, it is too corrupt. is this too simplistic a diagnosis? maybe, but the energy flow patterns in that set of structures is … oh hell, can’t describe it, it’s just a bunch of abstracted words.

anyway, Christian brings Steffi flowers last night. Valentine’s Day. I bring some Lübecker marzipan.

yeah, reflecting back on the two weeks, I had forgotten how powerful dialogues can be when there are engaged individuals at both ends. the system in Boulder exerts such a high degree of psychic pressure on the students (and faculty) that the conditions for humane dialogue are almost impossible to achieve. they need some breathing space of chaos — or some a root ground that feeds any contingency of flow. if the degree of insistent social flow-framework is too rigid, then there is no possibility of inspiring breath. and there is suffocation. embedded in the situation at ISNM is, for now, a degree of chaos that is not particularly uncomfortable, but it is at least available.

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed. — Karl Jung, hanging in Frieder and Susi’s kitchen

the Dalai Lama

aside from the Flatirons encroaching across Baseline in Chautauqua Park. the events around teaching are less determined than ever. shifting back into the US system seems hopeless. I steel for the return to Europe. to survive professionally. maybe even to thrive. I see that life is slipping in this lack of praxis. clearly the axis of language and action, one that I have been oscillating along has brought me nowhere. and the suspicion about that abyss between language and action is only a scar tissue embedded in brain left from anomalous childhood. there are people who do as they say. whose truth is their word. what a surprise.

disengaged. and. lacking the words to put a reasoned spin, retching. grinding. poking at coals. filtering. charging, toasting, flaming, playing, reloading, installing, listening, not looking, answering, washing, riding, shifting, coasting, swimming, breathing, biting, chewing. nothing else. calling, sending, calling, sending, receiving, tired.

and now I decide to finish this travelog once again (hogwash). here at the end of the 6th year of entries. in just a couple weeks. because there is so little to be said. formations of letters. pulled from the fingertips. no sweat, the weather is too chill. merde! quit. ’cause it’s not going anywhere. anymore. the nomad doesn’t see the stars. doesn’t scrape hand across the sharpness of the macro-granular sandstone, cheek to ground. life going on.

a precious human life

everyday, think as you wake up,
today i am fortunate to have woken up
i am alive, i have a precious human life
i am not going to waste it
i am going to use all of my energies to develop myself
to expand my heart out to others,
to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings.
i am going to have kind thoughts towards others
i am not going to get angry or think badly about others.
i am going to benefit others as much as i can.
–XIV Dalai Lama

uphill paths

a feeling. that the social matrix. well. never was a home. but then, what is a home?

at the end of this month, there will be another annual turning point. this travelog will transition into its seventh year. stasis-log. or traces of biking down the hill to school, and the deep breathing of the constant uphill home late each evening. writing about the different houses along the way, the different routes taken, depending on which turns are made. the crying bitter wind chill of the descent.

module-tasking

finishing touches to the research plan part of the application to the doctoral program at UIAH (University of Art and Design Helsinki) Media Lab. an applied program which I hope might allow me some breathing space to recenter my activities in education and networking. and do things like coagulate bleeding wounds of sensibility:

Me:
>> I mean, can we really afford to ignore the conceptual/spiritual
>> philosophies underpinning the (monolithic) Chinese culture? As well as
>> MANY other basic cultures (including many local manifestations of
>> Christianity in the past 2000 years)? Typical blind-sided-ness of Western
>> Thought patterns! The dematerialization of life is essential, followed by
>> the transformation to the paradigm that all is energy! I love throwing
>> E=mc2 on the board! Energy is the body/mass convolved by the velocity of
>> Light acting upon itself! Conversly, the Body is Light to itself
>> subdivided by its energy…

Mark:
>> write it up dood! hypertextualize it in bodily chunks of light and then
>> link it to other destinations — the writer as networked energy…

glad that somebody thinks this is important. but this has always been a real problem with my work — that each time I have gotten something into a formal, materialized presence, I see how imperfect it is, and indeed, I have never been satisfied with any form of working this stuff out EXCEPT with a smallish intimate and interactive set of participants. everywhere from the slide-show parties back in the late 70’s and 80’s to the camping trips and dinners. why should an artist’s context be something ELSE if one is really intent on opening a dialogue with the Other. otherwise, the chances of opening any kind of connection through the overtly formalized and sterile ploys of the Art World is close to zero. slept with yer gallerist lately? Sanna calls, mmmmm. and have a rolling talk with Loki while he is multi-tasking between me and Saturday morning Tom and Jerry cartoons in Iceland. “Pabby, he just threw a paper airplane out the window … and look now, he opened the front door and the airplane just flew back in, how did that happen?”

black cat

up at 0600, but awoken at 0410 by somebody opening a door in the house, then, an hour later, the black cat — who I met yesterday first on the front steps, then, later, sprawled on the (heated) bathroom floor — jumps in the window. in bed at 0100. then, here at the airport, the plane in canceled, the next one also, and I have to transfer to an SAS flight an hour later. on the way over to Tone’s place for fish soup dinner, I stop to call Hilde, and at the same moment, Sanna calls, multi-tracking. and still the questions of what to do in the spring, after the holidays, causes me tight-chested breathing, and sleep deprivation. this is very unusual for me. so it is something to work with my breathing on, my concentration, my future. more offers to do workshops, this time back in Bergen in the spring. Cafe9 got another boost from this visit, very interesting intersections. for old times’ sake, I wander over to see Johan, who was teaching in the Institute of Photography at the Art and Design school when I was a guest lecturer back in 1992. or was it 1993?

food cycles

turbulence in mind, need some calming effects of … deep breathing. the future wells up, the future in mind, possible futures, and impossible ones, and the difficulties and fears of failure. always. seldom are the possible fun times pictured. only the problems. got to do some more positive visualization — negative vibes aren’t very nice. summer begins to loom, though, as a challenge of ordering movement. and time pressing in. and then hard after that is the question of the next academic year. deciding to remain free-lance or on dropping down into some relative space of at least less motion. thinking ahead is always a stress in this way. but then there is the idea that being a nomad should be a motion that is natural and un-self-conscious. and with that I get back to writing to others. cycles continue. animal protein products in the form of meat, egg, and cheeses, with grain products, bread, oatmeal, muesli, pasta; and plants, apples, oranges, bananas, onion, garlic, tomato, what else. eating the same stuff almost all of the time. (this thought comes after a week of living in a hotel and not being able to cook). about to leave again. these short gigs are too unsettling. they will be ending soon. with no base to move on.

eight dialogues starts

The intro IRC test session was interesting. Willa showed up on her lunch break, Robbin, one of the PORT curators dropped in, and Terhi, from Helsinki appeared. There were some minor technical hiccups, but generally thing worked out. Josephine had some trouble, but it ended up that she was on the wrong network, and so couldn’t find us.

I stay indoors all day. Why is it that I don’t want to go out. I should. But IceLand has made me completely abhor being cold. Now, if it was 75F or hotter, I would be out. Shirt off, hat on. Sun screen on my poor over-exposed nose. But it is chilly out, and I can’t make myself go out. Whatever. I had dreams again last night, but they are lost in the brilliance of the sun rising up over Mingus Mountain across the valley. It is especially bright because of all the snow. Flagstaff, to the north got up to 40 inches of snow and is still held in that slow powdery embrace. Now I watch the Simpsons. What am I doing this for? My back is trashed sitting in the lab, I don’t have a good chair in there, and I think that is the main problem with my back. And so it goes. Fragments from public television:

His body is strong, and he loves it
The man looks across the gray floor and sees the end of his life
He calls her and says Mom I love you very much
He thinks about the moment he stops breathing
I feel so Light I feel so fortunate
Introducing the survivors I see all these things
My work is that Dialogue
I have I don’t think I want to leave, I’m only 42-years-old
Where will I lay down? Who cares?
Thank you for saying that to me I’ll remember that when I am wracked with pain An interesting, vital dance that will say everything I have learned from the survivors
Diagnosis does that
Fear is the place that I can stand where I can say I am here I love the blues, I love to dance I fear pain I want to cross over I want to cross over But I’m too small — Bill T. Jones

Adrianne posts me this excerpt of a review she has written about Blast for January’s Intelligent Agent — it includes:

_John Hopkins_, photographer and writer, proves an active theorist/theory activist as an artist. By arranging one-to-one conversations between himself and others, he performs “talking” events all over the world. John sees one-to-one conversation as the only form of revolution left in the world. John provided a series of dinners; one with each blast5drama Editor. No agenda or conversational menu was presented – creating an empty space between one participant and the other which, in turn promotes a certain discomfort, accompanied by a strong urge to flail about demanding criteria. But one realizes in time that the experience exists in a state of being without identification tagging, allowing something both natural and definitive to happen between people via talking. Because he can bear the consequences of not imposing any structure or rationale on an event, John’s work, in a way, evokes the genre of outsider art.

I am grateful that she takes the time and energy to not only support my work, but to actively frame it in within the context of her prodigious and ongoing experience in the arts.