Stamped from the Beginning – Kendi

Continuing to pry my eyes open to the wide ignorance of growing up a privileged white male: a darkness that perhaps could have been dispelled by the obvious evidence appearing, bright, over the years. The tar-paper huts where the elementary school bus stopped, picking up many of the Black students at our rural Maryland school 35 miles outside of Washington, D.C.—south of the Mason-Dixon Line; at ten y.o., riding past “Resurrection City” on the Mall in D.C. during the Poor People’s Campaign in 1968; completely unaware of the geography of roads not taken in that long-ago rural countryside as they passed through the African-American settlements outside of the “regular” towns; blindness mixed with a slowly maturing wonder at and deep respect for African-American creativity, intelligence, and sensitivity. I surely didn’t understand the full import of the lyrics in Stevie Wonder’s “Living for the City” from his Innervisions album even after doing a report on it in 11th grade English class; nor the complexities involved in a course I took, “The Economics of Poverty,” while taking a year away from engineering school back in 1979. Maybe it was Lightnin’ Hopkins who really cracked open my soul. So many points where knowledge and feeling would have fired a deeper awareness of the ongoing and severely compromised conditions of social justice in the United States. There was not enough curiosity available within privilege.

Kendi, Ibram X. Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America. Second trade paperback edition. New York, NY: Bold Type Books, LLC, 2023.

Tracing the historical roots of ‘racist thought’ in Amurika up to contemporary times, this is a challenging read. The extraordinary level of detail and huge number of players across 400 years makes it sometimes difficult to hold onto all the facts. But the main ‘plot,’ racism, is the important point to be dissembled.

Thanks, George, for recommending this one, and thanks, Rick for earlier recommending:

Wilkerson, Isabel. Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents. Trade paperback edition. New York, NY: Random House, 2023.

and I would also include

Hannah-Jones, Nikole and New York Times Company, eds. The 1619 Project: A New Origin Story. First edition. New York, NY: One World, 2021.

and

Douglass, Frederick. Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave. Boston, MA: Anti-Slavery Office, 1845..

There are (many) Others whose histories I need yet to understand.

To Phyliss Wheatley
(First African Poetess)

No! Not like the lark, didst thou circle and sing,
High in the heavens on morn’s merry wing,
But hid in the depths of the forest’s dense shade,
There where the homes of the lowly were made,
Thou nested! Though fettered, thou frail child of night,
Thy melody trilled forth with naive delight;
And all through the throes of the night dark and long,
Earth’s favored ones harkened thy ravishing song,
So plaintive and wild, touched with Africa’s lilt;
Of wrong small complaint, sweet forgiveness of guilt-
Oh, a lyric of love and a paean of praise,
Didst thou at thy vespers, Dark Nightingale, raise;
So sweet was the hymn rippling out of the dark,
It rivalled the clear morning song of the lark.

Clifford, Carrie Williams. The Widening Light. Boston, MA: Walter Reid Company, 1922.

every form of being

To every form of being is assigned
An active principle:—howe’er removed
From sense and observation, it subsists
In all things, in all natures: in the stars
Of azure Heaven, the unenduring clouds,
In flower and tree, in every pebbly stone
That paves the brooks, the stationary rocks,
The moving waters and the invisible air.
Whate’er exists hath properties that spread
Beyond itself, communicating good,
A simple blessing, or with evil mixed:
Spirit that knows no insulated spot,
No chasm, no solitude; from link to link
It circulates, the soul of all the worlds.

William Wordsworth. The Excursion: Wisdom Is Oftentimes Nearer When We Stoop than When We Soar. Portable Poetry, 2015. Book VI, 1-15.

fragments

In the forest, Grand Mesa, Colorado, Colorado, September ©2021 hopkins/neoscenes.
In the forest, Grand Mesa, Colorado, Colorado, September ©2021 hopkins/neoscenes.

Walking. There is no trail. I follow the accumulated energies of the world, not merely my nose. There is a path that is to be taken, as sure as the gravitational fall line that carries a skier to the greatest velocity and thrill in the downhill race: there is a pathway in the bush that presents itself as the way to go. I am impelled: the bushwalker, on the asymptotic pathway among infinite permutations.

I am on a planet, I am in a country: how absurd is that. I am in a state, I am in a county: how absurd is that? I am in a national forest, I am on Forest Road number 12: how absurd is that? I am in the forest, somewhere, off the Forest Road, an un-named place, I am stepping, full of care. There is no trail. I follow not my nose, but the aura of an energized gradient, a fall line of the self, as a being. How absurd is that? I am falling along that line, down, down, down, away within the roaring beauty of presence.

Stars careen through life’s nighttime, momentary solace to the parched days of no rain. Nights of virga, souls falling, falling, falling, yet never reaching the Earth: convective transcendence instead filling Heaven with we, the fallen.

virga

A new word crosses the textual radar: virga. Seen often in Western skies, especially immediately prior to Monsoon season, and during transitional seasons. Puzzled that I don’t recall knowing it before. Maybe I just don’t remember.

Best described as wispy filaments of rain, thin curtains, falling beneath storm clouds that haven’t the energy to transition into full-on thunderheads: the falling precipitation evaporates before reaching the ground. Extremely frustrating to the parched throats waiting for any water to fall from heaven in these desert regions.

In the metaphoric: life-blessing from Heaven, reaching the soul on occasion. sensed, though far away. ethereal. falling to quench the soul. gone.

two months in and now what

Père Ubu (Ubu Roi), from a woodcut by Alfred Jarry, April 1896

This blog is rapidly becoming the site of moribund emptiness. Material accumulates, but j-o-b interferes with any creative expression. This raises many questions relating to how life is lived versus how it may be lived. As energies enter later phases and levels, life-time comes to more crucial junctures: what to spend it on. Limited supply and no do-overs raise the price to that asymptotic limit: transcendence!

I think I understand William Blake. A man who brought his soul to life, at the expense of not living so much within the bounds of the social system. “A man not forestalled by predecessors, nor to be classed with contemporaries, nor to be replaced by known or readily surmisable successors…”

But then, as Empire teeters on what is left of its decaying foundation, what of intellect, creativity, spiritual movement?

“That’s One Big Belch For Man,

One Average ( Syncopated ) ( Plastic ) Hiccup For Mankind ….”

______ Ubu Roi V

***** ( five stars )
mise en scene & mobile app by the author of
Awaken The Giant Within

^^^^

the slavish shore

Some chapters back, one Bulkington was spoken of, a tall, new-landed mariner, encountered in New Bedford at the inn.

When on that shivering winter’s night, the Pequod thrust her vindictive bows into the cold malicious waves, who should I see standing at her helm but Bulkington! I looked with sympathetic awe and fearfulness upon the man, who in mid-winter just landed from a four years’ dangerous voyage, could so unrestingly push off again for still another tempestuous term. The land seemed scorching to his feet. Wonderfullest things are ever the unmentionable; deep memories yield no epitaphs; this six-inch chapter is the stoneless grave of Bulkington. Let me only say that it fared with him as with the storm-tossed ship, that miserably drives along the leeward land. The port would fain give succor; the port is pitiful; in the port is safety, comfort, hearthstone, supper, warm blankets, friends, all that’s kind to our mortalities. But in that gale, the port, the land, is that ship’s direst jeopardy; she must fly all hospitality; one touch of land, though it but graze the keel, would make her shudder through and through. With all her might she crowds all sail off shore; in so doing, fights ‘gainst the very winds that fain would blow her homeward; seeks all the lashed sea’s landlessness again; for refuge’s sake forlornly rushing into peril; her only friend her bitterest foe! Know ye, now, Bulkington? Glimpses do ye seem to see of that mortally intolerable truth; that all deep, earnest thinking is but the intrepid effort of the soul to keep the open independence of her sea; while the wildest winds of heaven and earth conspire to cast her on the treacherous, slavish shore? But as in landlessness alone resides the highest truth, shoreless, indefinite as God –so, better is it to perish in that howling infinite, than be ingloriously dashed upon the lee, even if that were safety! For worm-like, then, oh! who would craven crawl to land! Terrors of the terrible! is all this agony so vain? Take heart, take heart, O Bulkington! Bear thee grimly, demigod! Up from the spray of thy ocean-perishing –straight up, leaps thy apotheosis!

Melville, H., 2012. Moby-Dick, or, The Whale, London, England: Penguin.

Striving to keep to that wild, shoreless, and indeterminate sea? The KickStarter gig isn’t doing it for me. I simply do not know how to exist, competitive, within this system. I know of the art I make, and its source is not hidden randomly from my mind. Yet to make the conversion to capitalist cash seems to elude what mental focus I might focus on the task. I can make the imaginative images, observations of the passing world, but what then?

The Cosmic Spirit

To every form of being is assigned
An active principle:—howe’er removed
From sense and observation, it subsists
In all things, in all natures: in the stars
Of azure Heaven, the unenduring clouds,
In flower and tree, in every pebbly stone
That paves the brooks, the stationary rocks,
The moving waters and the invisible air.
Whate’er exists hath properties that spread
Beyond itself, communicating good,
A simple blessing, or with evil mixed:
Spirit that knows no insulated spot,
No chasm, no solitude; from link to link
It circulates, the soul of all the worlds.
— Wordsworth. Excursion. Book VI, 1-15.

readying for a perambulation around the cosmos at any moment. readying for the moment of full-on change. readying for now.

do, do not

In the name of the best within you, do not sacrifice this world to those who are its worst. In the name of the values that keep you alive, do not let your vision of man be distorted by the ugly, the cowardly, the mindless in those who have never achieved his title. Do not lose your knowledge that man’s proper estate is an upright posture, an intransigent mind and a step that travels unlimited roads. Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it’s yours. — Ayn Rand

drenched

overlook panorama, Blue Mountains National Park, New South Wales, Australia, November 2010

brutal day, too late to change it: deciding to go out to the closest bush access — the Blue Mountains National Park up at Katoomba to check it out — bad weather, but this is the only opportunity to go before leaving for New Zealand on Friday. I suppose it is the rough equivalent of hitting Yosemite or so (not near the grandeur of Yosemite, but the proximity and intensity of being a tourist attraction, they get three million folks up here every year). a 90-minute train ride from Sydney Central up the hill to Katoomba Station. decide to fuel-up at a cafe in town first, do some writing, pick up on the vibe. then head south from town on foot to the edge of the main escarpment of resistant Triassic Hawkesbury sandstone that Katoomba sits on. pouring rain by the time I get an hour out. thankfully I have full Goretex on which is useless. so, drenched to the point that it makes no difference. more “drenched”

Gonzo Papers, Vol. 3

February 18

L.A. notes, again . . . one-thirty now and pill-fear grips the brain, staring down at this half-finished article . . . test pilots, after a week (no, three days) at Edwards AFB in the desert . . . but trying to mix writing and fucking around with old friends don’t work no more, this maddening, time-killing late-work syndrome, never getting down to the real machine action until two or three at night, won’t make it . . . especially half drunk full of pills and grass with deadlines past and people howling in New York . . . the pressure piles up like a hang-fire lightning ball in the brain. Tired and wiggy from no sleep or at least not enough. Living on pills, phone calls unmade, people unseen, pages unwritten, money unmade, pressure piling up all around to make some kind of breakthrough and get moving again. Get the gum off the rails, finish something, croak this awful habit of not ever getting to the end—of anything.

Thompson, H.S., 1991. Songs of the Doomed: more notes on the death of the American dream, New York, NY: Pocket Books.

The narrative elsewhere in this blog lacks the edge that Thompson eventuated in his published works. Compact bursts of driving prose—the energy of which does not rely on the gonzo subject material—but instead brings directly to life the internal processes of be-ing and places them in direct juxtaposition with the madness of what’s out there. This is the trick: and it is precisely this trick, when the two flows are brought together, synthesized, and ultimately exposed to oxygen to be reduced and transformed into a sustenance for the human spirit.

That spirit is then taken to places it needs to go—not where the mutations of socialized comparison point it to, not where material consumption takes it, not where fear in all its phantasmal coloration deLights to compress the soul into. The soul needs to be able to expand, not contract. And it should have within itself a means to source for this infinite expansion. Should, would, could. For the infinite, there are no means, there is only the denominated will of the spirit—which, in the end, forces a division by zero.

And that’s an illegitimate operation. As is Gonzo generally.

it’s not Valentine’s night

Qi follows the will. (The will is a pathway imposed by Life on the ‘free’ movement of Qi energies.) If the heart is centered and in balance, the eye is clear.

If the heart is misplaced, distortion of everything seen and sensed occurs.

cross my heart and hope to die. opening the heart. set someone’s heart to rest. heartless. cold hands warm heart. near someone’s heart. broken hearts. cry your heart out. heart-broken. he’s got a big heart. to one’s heart’s content. a man after my own heart. have one’s heart in the right place. absence makes the heart grow fonder. affair of the heart. heart and soul. bleeding heart liberal. after your own heart. be still my beating heart. by heart. beating heart. change of heart. steal someone’s heart. a man after my own heart. have one’s heart in one’s mouth. open your heart.

absence makes the heart grow fonder. take heart. after my own heart. at heart. break her heart. by heart. change of heart. cold hands, warm heart. cross my heart. cry her heart out. cut to the heart of the matter. do his heart good. eat your heart out. find it in their heart. from the bottom of my heart. get to the heart of. gave me heart failure. half a heart. harden mine heart. have a heart. have no heart for. heavy heart. in her heart of hearts. lose heart. lost her heart to. near to my heart. not have the heart to. poured out his heart. set her heart on. sick at heart. steal someone’s heart. steel my heart against. take heart. take to heart. to her heart’s content. warm heart. warm the cockles of his heart. wearing his heart on his sleeve. with all her heart. young at heart. with half a heart.

heart attack.

this and that

Yeno (Hui-neng, 638-713) writes:

The Bodhi* is not like the tree;
The mirror bright is nowhere shining:
As there is nothing from the first,
Where does the dust itself collect?

This was written in answer to a stanza composed by another Zen monk who claimed to have understood the faith in its purity. His lines run thus:

This body is the Bodhi-tree;
The soul is like the mirror bright;
Take heed to keep it always clean,
And let no dust collect upon it.

A nice example of the conflict between knowledge and knowing of a logical sort, and the wisdom of be-ing which Zen produces in a practitioner. The latter is business-as-usual, mega-churches, and MacDonalds; the former is living, spirit-in-motion, and sustenance.

* True Wisdom

roadkill

death strewn on the highway. roadkill. carnivore, herbivore, amphibian, insect: getting to the other side of the road is just part of the inexorable (natural) systemic flow. Roadkill represents one intersection of human-defined flows and naturally-existing flows. The result of this fundamental intersection is near-death or absolute annihilation, a rapid reduction to component complex molecules. from the thathunk of meatier species to the simple fluttering splat of the butterfly. Leathery carcasses that persist for days despite the brutal pounding of truck tires and hard-to-remove stains on the windshield that resist even the most vigorous squeegee scrubbing whilst filling-up the tank.

Insects with a low weight-to-surface-area ratio can sometimes avoid liquidation by the slipstream effect which will carry them up and over the vehicle. But trajectory is all, and the meatier bugs, the swarming locusts and grasshoppers, have too much mass in their sagging torsos to experience this sanctified reprieve and thus become one with their maker in a soul-wrenching milli-second that can be a marvel of colorful abstraction a-la Pollack.

Along one stretch of the UFO Highway in Nevada, red locusts were on the march northward along a specific pathway that they were intent on following without regard to individual survival. At 60 MPH, the dynamic was such that their flight reaction to the approaching truck got them only a couple feet off the ground, not over the height of the hood, so, the lower grill was a mass of dessicated carcasses by the time we got to the Grand Army of the Republic Highway, a hundred miles away. Many more were simply crushed by the wheels, leaving greasy red-greenish stains on the road and in the wheel-wells: their natural trajectory on the ground was clearly discernible where it intersected with roads. I noticed in the gas station parking lot in Ely there was a small flock of birds who were picking over the the resulting detritus on the ground, and when they could manage, actually hanging onto the grills and directly harvesting the carnage, ‘burp!’ What would the evolutionary outcomes be? Birds that can smell idling cars? Locusts who tunnel for 40 feet underground when they encounter traces of heavy hydrocarbons, with luck, getting to the other side.

Larger animals, the mammals are the worst, though, when encountered at any speed. Moose and elk torsos will behave something like the old paper-straw-through-the-raw-potato trick — inertial physics at its most fundamental. The front bumper of the car will take out the long spindly legs whilst the massive quarter-ton of body-meat, at just the right height to clear the hood, will simply stay where it is. But where it is relative to the speeding windshield means that it will simply obliterate anything in the front seats of the vehicle. At low speeds, this can mean a struggling, injured animal in the laps of struggling, injured humans, gah.

behind Cripple Creek

so, what about now? the then, constructed from fragments of fleshy and amorphous silica memory remains. it stands in each accretionary flow of now as a splinter of … glass … that distracts with an acute and heart-shimmering intrusion deep into souls that only somewhere wish to be there, then. speaking to a screen, there is a deep form of silence that no intensity of dialogue might remove. it is not a meditative silence but rather a reverberatory one … in a glass house.

Karen is back home after her first trip to China, so she and Ron pick me up at Greg’s for an over-night at the cabin south of Florissant. beautiful place! a great dinner that Ron concocts. and fine company, neighbors. and the wet weather continues in one form or another. Pikes Peak gets plenty more snow above tree line.

wacky yachts

Meeting life, being submerged in its flow remains only a goal. Like breathing. Where a developed consciousness of breathing becomes a stabilizing influence on the extremes of condition that impress the body and the soul as night turns to day and day following transitions to night.

By the same author of Where Are the Customers’ Yachts?, Andrea passes this wacky niblet (below) along. The yacht question is incredibly germane in the situation these days when a vast swath of the population still takes hits on the market (is foolish to listen to dullards/brokers) and then calculates for a few seconds in some small cavity in brain why the brokers still have the yachts, but then passes over any clear thought in order to stay up with discussions about lipstick in the national election. sheesh.

Wacky had plenty of other stuff too. He had different shells that he had found himself when he visited the seashore. Some of them had been on the beach, but some of them he had got out of almost two feet of water, which meant that when he had reached down for them, he had nearly had to put his nose in the water, because you have to take those chances if you want to get something valuable. The snail shells made a sound quite like the ocean, and the clam shells were going to be useful to keep collar buttons in as soon as he got old enough to wear collar buttons.

He had only one college pennant, but it was of the Colorado School of Mines, which is a college where they teach you to dig. Mr. Wallaby said that was more than they taught you in other colleges, so he wouldn’t need any other pennants. — Fred Schwed, Jr., “Wacky, The Small Boy,” 1939

gauntlet

En route. heavy security gauntlet, got picked for extra testing twice — once at Tegel in Berlin and once in Heathrow. sheesh… now immersed in the media and the seamless advertising of all places of transit and transport. in this fear-full new world of old ways. secure and safe in the knowledge that life in Under Control. now where’s the friggin’ baggage claim?

(00:05:01, stereo audio, 12 mb)

there are ways of movement that smooth the soul, and other ways which bring turbulence. turbulent systems are a product of the god within, rioting for, or simply bored with the offerings of the social system.

the lady in the next row reads Becoming Best Friends with God, what does this mean? can life be so transitory that anything (thing, why thing? any action?) potentially is transcendent. any event, instance, pattern of movement, Light refracted through the small round door portal shifts through all the visible colors. and we see. I must choose to obey God in faith. the book exhorts.

Melabudin

through the white Lightness, reminded of Light, suffused with Light. the pressing back of liquid globes, securely maintaining a barrier to all that Light is from entering the soul in extremity of be-ing. what more to say.

see some people, some products arising from the lives of people, tasting some compiled energies. distributed and distant lives come close for a moment of microscopic visioning and, yes, tasting. within all which is living.

funeral, et al

just back from Helga’s funeral service at the Seltjarnarnes Church and the reception at Hotel Saga after wards. sad to see the ones who grew up with that old way of living pass away, that long-ago generation. Helga was born in a dirt-floored sod hut in Svarfaðardalur near Dalvík on Eyjafjörður just shy of one hundred years ago. she was the matriarch to four generations of descendants who follow her on the pathway.

(00:40:06, stereo audio, 77 mb)

while I will always be an outsider in this close-knit community deep in the North Atlantic, I will always be bound to the place through the people of this family. bound in the living and the dying, the movements, the step-wise step-fool wanderings along the rugged sphere’s surface, floating in a suffused crystal darkness. where replication and desertion become forces driving Light and spare living. messages arrive from all corners of life. direct in the face, through this and that face rarely seen, age-lines and sagging skin characterizing it all. eyes peering out from under graying crop. young ones dancing around, some so young that the dance has not yet begun in the newness of be-ing. but where eyes wide open take it all in to map pathways across pure soul. they take it all in. and the living move on, the ones who have left are there in memory as the ones who formed us.

ex-press

Cam sends a link to a nice interview with George. whilst the author of Phaedrus still echoes around.

There is an old Egyptian tale of Theuth, the inventor of writing, showing his invention to the god Thamus, who told him that he would only spoil men’s memories and take away their understandings. From this tale, of which young Athens will probably make fun, may be gathered the lesson that writing is inferior to speech. For it is like a picture, which can give no answer to a question, and has only a deceitful likeness of a living creature. It has no power of adaptation, but uses the same words for all. It is not a legitimate son of knowledge, but a bastard, and when an attack is made upon this bastard neither parent nor anyone else is there to defend it. The husbandman will not seriously incline to sow his seed in such a hot-bed or garden of Adonis; he will rather sow in the natural soil of the human soul which has depth of earth; and he will anticipate the inner growth of the mind, by writing only, if at all, as a remedy against old age. The natural process will be far nobler, and will bring forth fruit in the minds of others as well as in his own. — Socrates

dkfrf review

Rinus makes some nice notes on the Amurikan evening at das kleine field recording festival last week in Kreuzberg.

Rinus is one of those intelligent and grounded souls who facilitate events that are the polar opposite of pretentious. informal, humane, and best, they include a collection of found artists. artists who are connected by their desire to connect with others in an open way. my impression of the evening of performances was largely the comfort with which it proceeded. for example, I had not intended doing a visual set, thinking conservatively it was about field recording. but when Brandon got the video-projector set up, I thought, yeah, why not. so I started the evening with a slowly-building barrage. guilty, sure, of a phat mix. Rinus noted that it divided the crowd — it’s that polarizing influence that I seem to have. hmmm. it’s partly the software, got to explore how to slow it down for a more meditative mix. density. (going back to the thoughts about levity and density a few weeks ago). Brandon’s set was a perfect counterpoint to mine with the levity and Light of his life.
more “dkfrf review”

bozo patrol

doing a quick text snippet search, sparked by the factoid that over the last few years, a top search combo that ultimately got people to my site has been art teaching philosophy or some such combination. I run into two people who have used my teaching philosophy text, one almost verbatim — one Michael Salmond, faculty member at Northern Illinois University, “wrote” this (although I can imagine he will take this down asap, I have the google cache of it and saved local copies for reference). LAME. then another unimaginative soul, Thomas N. Toomey, in Connecticut wrote this Light remix. sheesh. I guess they didn’t notice the copyright notification at the bottom, and they forgot to include plagiarism as integral to their teaching philosophies! And, not to mention, in Salmond’s case, his university will expel students who are guilty of such actions!

Phill’s Solstice party

But it’s not true. Where does nomadism arise? In the pure madness of the shakuhachi tones, played by an itinerant Zen komuso? nah. It appears that I have a limited audience for my work. For networking, all connections seem intense. But the potential for greater intensity is there, though that alone may work to the opposite extreme of shrinking any audience. Focus and power seem there. Need balancing with the rest of life which is that constant interweaving of souls. Not daring to miss one in the process. and so:

The evening is a pilgrimage in to the City to Phill Niblock‘s annual Solstice performance—on Katharine’s reminder and invite a couple weeks ago at reboot in Berlin. Phill has been doing these for years and I felt like it completes the year in a significant way (having had a nice two-hour listening/watching experience with Wes and August with Phill’s incredible DVD work back in January on the Other coast, Santa Barbara). But, yeah, what better way to spend a Solstice—immersed in the work (and at the home!) of a prolific and personable visual-sonic artist. The performance/happening was an extension of the work Phill has pursued for some years—incredible 16mm material shot around the globe of people engaged in physical (hand) labor: The Movement Of People Working. This visual expression immersed within his signature massive and precise microtonal environments. Nice opportunity. The admittedly brief sonic remix below includes the sounds from the kitchen and the downstairs radiator on the way out in a state of heightened awareness!

(00:09:02, stereo audio, 17.4 mb)

Phill has hosted the Experimental Intermedia performance series for 34 years. If you are ever in NYC, check out the schedule of a bewildering array of international artists, it’s great! This year is the 39th anniversary of the founding of E.I.

Got to connect with Katharine, Keiko, and Elsa again, and met some other local folks.

The Wild Surmise

Sue Thomas poses some interesting questions in her search for possible synergies between the cyber and the natural. it’s an open project — add you own answers on her site!

Please describe where you lived and your strongest memories of nature during the years of your growing up. I’m interested in both positive and negative recollections of anything from the smallest plot to the largest wilderness, including animals and plants.

sotto voce: I am a native of Alaska, born there as a Cold War military child. My father, a senior Pentagon analyst, sport-hunted grizzly and polar bears among other magnificent animals. We moved to Boston, then Southern California, then Washington DC, living in suburban or rural fringes of cities. A primal memory was of viewing a total solar eclipse from a beach in Acadia National Park in the northeast state of Maine, USA, at five years old. Watching the sun be consumed, until there was only a shimmering ring of fire surrounding a black hole in the sky. My father was an amateur astronomer, and I accompanied him on a further four total eclipse expeditions. Along with these specific memories, there are general memories of sleeping in the woods, of eating around a fire, of washing in streams, mosquitoes, and dark star-brilliant skies. more “The Wild Surmise”

continuation

Workshop continues at a rare intensity. Only a good scene. Fine mix of intellects and spirits. Something good will come from this. While the situation in Sydney apparently continues to unfold, but with what characteristics and forms and potentials I do not know. There is a degree of stress heading to the unknown place.

Two participants, coming respectively from Melbourne and Southern California, used couch surfing sites for housing — I may need to make that scene in Oz if housing alternatives run out.

But the number of sand I know, and the measure of drops in the ocean;
The dumb man I understand, and I hear the speech of the speechless:
And there hath come to my soul the smell of a strong-shelled tortoise
Boiling in caldron of bronze, and the flesh of a lamb mingled with it;
Under it bronze is laid, it hath bronze as a clothing upon it.
— Pythian prophetess

No doubt a pithy oracle. Herodotus quotes. From the histories. Run across that after skyping with Loki around the histories of the Greco-Persian Wars — he saw the movie 300. Is there a difference between understanding history derived from Herodotus in translation and Hollywood scripting? Are the histories essentially the same in that they are subjective accounts of an individual as translated through a series of other individuals? As Herodotus is the primary source for any information regarding the wars, Hollywood has some relation to this, but what is the texture of relation? And the idea of telling the relation visually (and sonically) and in two hours. Complete. No answer. Though reviews point to the obvious glorification of the defeat of the Persian by the infidel hyper-militaristic Americo-Spartans.

now that’s news!

Chris mentioned that old CSM amigo George Saunders just had a MacArthur Fellowship bestowed on hissef. well, dang, George, congrats! I had to chuckle when I went to his fan site and saw it had been hacked by a Turkish Armenian freedom fighter — complete with a waving flag and anthem. it’s back up now…

George’s latest short story collection, In Persuasion Nation gets qualified critical acclaim as is likely with a collection of stories. I haven’t read it yet. I’m waiting for a 600+ page novel to wield baseball-bat-to-torso, outlining in bruised flesh the practice, not of resistance to the contemporary cultural brutality, but of a thoughtlessly new way-of-going. potential’s there, but somehow mundaneity clogs the sweat pores. put a hold at the local library on Nation, review forthcoming.

Following his superb story collections CivilWarLand in Bad Decline style= (1996) and Pastoralia style= (1999), as well as last year’s novella The Brief and Frightening Reign of Phil, Saunders reaffirms his sharp, surreal vision of contemporary, media-saturated life, but keeps most of the elements within his familiar bandwidth. In the sweetly acerbic “My Flamboyant Grandson,” a family trip through Times Square is overwhelmed by pop-up advertisements. In “Jon,” orphans get sold to a market research firm and become famous as “Tastemakers & Trendsetters” (complete with trading cards). “CommComm” concerns an air force PR flunky living with the restless souls of his parents while covering for a spiraling crisis at work. The more conventionally grounded stories are the most compelling: one lingers over a bad Christmas among Chicago working stiffs, another follows a pair of old Russian-Jewish women haunted by memories of persecution. Others collapse under the weight of too much wit (the title story especially), and a few are little more than exercises in patience (“93990,” “My Amendment”). But Saunders’ vital theme — the persistence of humanity in a vacuous, nefarious marketing culture of its own creation — comes through with subtlety and fresh turns. — Publishers Weekly

#48

Self portrait in bed, waking up to celebrate a birthday with a glass of tea. In a silent and empty house. <sigh>

The time of a man’s life is as a point; the substance of it ever flowing, the sense obscure; and the whole composition of the body tending to corruption. His soul is restless, fortune uncertain, and fame doubtful; to be brief, as a stream so are all things belonging to the body; as a dream, or as a smoke, so are all that belong unto the soul. Our life is a warfare, and a mere pilgrimage. Fame after life is no better than oblivion. — Marcus Aurelius

long high day

floating through a high country day. mountain bike ride after breakfast. up to the trail head into the West Elk Wilderness. back out, Sage keeping pace even on the downhills. pack up and make the circle around the north rim of the Black Canyon, and down through Delta. saw a gal parked having a picnic. single bike on the rear rack, like me. wondered about how one crosses paths. make a stop at the Ute Indian Museum.

it’s far from present Ute lands, and most of Colorado was once populated by one or another bands of Utes who are now reduced to three small reservations in Colorado and Utah. another dreadful history of crimes against humanity. are we really better than that now?

seek wisdom, not knowledge. knowledge is of the past, wisdom is of the future.

to go on a vision quest is to go into the presence of the Great Mystery.

the soul will have no rainbow if the eye has no tear.

another stop at the Gunnison National Forest main office to check out any information they might have, as well as inquiring about jobs. looks like everything is through the JobsUSA website. one path to travel. have to look into that again when online next. Ridgeway seems interesting again, with some commercial buildings for sale. question is, what to do in these small towns to survive? could computer consulting work? construction is no longer an option with the L5 disk acting up, could be major trouble in the near future. website construction? teaching high school? vocational tech? uff. re-forming trajectories seems at the same time daunting and full of possibility. how can it be problematic when so many others are employed? and so many have managed to gather so much capital in this country. but the path between scraping poor-ness and abundant wealth seems so … arbitrary. there is no clear specifications except for self-confidence.

end the day almost at tree line, up Bailey Creek, off Lizard Head Pass in the San Juan National Forest. the luxury of dispersed camping (finding places up 4×4 roads that are not developed, but make excellent camp sites) is appreciated. no cost, only fuel to get there, and that expense suggested that instead of an immediate return to Prescott, that I take several days and enjoy being back in Colorado and check out several new places. in Curecanti Creek, I saw only one car in two days, and up this rugged route, doubt I’ll see anyone until I head out and down and south west tomorrow. feeling a little guilty being out of phone range, but have no messages except one from Gary, so, figure all is well in the greater telecom world. make a short video of sunset on a nearby peak. and in the process of reviewing the tape after finishing it, I discover that all the footage that I shot of Kevin’s memorial in NYC in March had that effing bad audio. really disgusting — Bill, Stefan, Martha, Rosemary, and others talking about their memories of Kevin. the glitch seems due to bad mike contacts, or a dirty record head. it pops up randomly, and has affected some other critical footage previously. and the pondering on the idea of getting a 3-ccd hd prosumer cam comes back up and/or a Nikon prosumer digital still camera. what else to do with capital? shopping is a dumb way to make a cash flow (negatively). better to keep the investments growing and multiplying. and purchase only items that can definitely be positive cash generators.

whatever the end result, work is the next necessary step to confront. that and the June 18th Month of Sundays performance. finishing up with the house, packing things in a way that maintains some viability to several pathways of action. but meanwhile, watch the sky and the land.

Woodstock reminder

Woodstock

Well I came across a child of God, he was walking along the road
and I asked him tell where are you going, this he told me:
Well, I’m going down to Yasgur’s farm,
going to join in a rock and roll band.
Got to get back to the land, set my soul free.
We are stardust, we are golden, we are billion year old carbon,
and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Well, then can I walk beside you? I have come to lose the smog.
And I feel like I’m a cog in something turning.
And maybe it’s the time of year, yes, and maybe it’s the time of man.
And I don’t know who I am but life is for learning.
We are stardust, we are golden, we are billion year old carbon,
and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

By the time we got to Woodstock, we were half a million strong,
and everywhere there was song and celebration.
And I dreamed I saw the bombers riding shotgun in the sky,
turning into butterflies above our nation.
We are stardust, we are golden, we caught in the devil’s bargain,
and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.
— Joni Mitchell

Kevin Karl Burger 1957 – 2006

portrait, Kevin, New York City, New York, July 1995

Kevin passes away this morning after a three-year fight with brain cancer. A brilliant painter, the source of much pointed insight and incisive wry wit, a good story-teller, and all-around warm and lively friend. His embodied presence, removed, now transforms to empty space, but, certainly, no vacuum. We met way back during the infamous Conrans-Habitat catalog shooting that Bill was doing in the summer of 1990. Kevin was working for the Conrans crew, I was an assistant for Bill. Hot summer day after hot summer day, on location in Peters Valley for the first half of the shoot, a sense of humor was necessary. Then Kevin and I drove a U-haul truck full of furniture and location gear all the way to Acadia National Park, ME. Many stories to tell about that adventure. Nothing like shooting a four-poster bed on the top of Cadillac Mountain at dawn. It was an auspicious starting point for many friendships: I think it was all the lobster (lobstah) consumed in Bar Harbor (Bahhabba) with the crew. On the way back, we filled a huge cooler with lobsters and dry ice, and had a big dinner at John and Laurel’s place back in PV.

more “Kevin Karl Burger 1957 – 2006”

silence is betrayal

John forwards this extract from Martin Luther King’s opinion on the war in Vietnam:

A time comes when silence is betrayal. That time has come for us in relation to Vietnam.

The greatest purveyor of violence in the world today: my own government.

To save the soul of America.

This is the message of the great Buddhist leaders of Vietnam. Recently one of them wrote these words, and I quote:

Each day the war goes on the hatred increases in the hearts of the Vietnamese and in the hearts of those of humanitarian instinct. The Americans are forcing even their friends into becoming their enemies. It is curious that the Americans, who calculate so carefully on the possibilities of military victory, do not realize that in the process they are incurring deep psychological and political defeat. The image of America will never again be the image of revolution, freedom, and democracy, but the image of violence and militarism.

Unquote.

A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death.

Nonviolent coexistence or violent coannihilation?

it is the annihilation that is easy. it is slow, imperceptible, and complex to unravel — the feelings of powerlessness in the face of the invisible macro-scaled inevitable. shopping marks the first instance of micro-annihilation.

death be not proud

Stefan called, death was the topic, this is the stretch of life when there are brutal accelerations in the imbricate order of passing — done with one being, moving on to others. Keeping me posted on Kevin. I recollected the short book, Death Be Not Proud, by John Gunther, that was a required reading in, I think, 9th grade? The story, written by the father, of his young son’s confrontation with terminal brain cancer, the title, the opening line from the archaic English poem:

Death be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,
For, those, whom thou think’st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell’st thou then;
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.
— John Donne

Helsinki memory

happen to correspond with Claudia, Italian artist-friend from the Avantiere days in Aachen. I want to connect her up with Valgerdur and Niels who are down in Rome at the Scandic artist studio for a couple months. anyway, Claudia attached a couple snaps that Kaisu made when the three of us met in Helsinki a few years ago. don’t remember why we were at the train station — who was leaving for where. I had originally connected Claudia and Kaisu — and they went on to have some nice art collaborations in Italy and Finland. bridging, I call it. finding souls of certain energy, nothing more rewarding than connecting the dots of life and seeing the results.

angels speak

Look Homeward, Angel burns a swath through my horizontal days, speaking, drilling truth-of-being in an elemental and fearful way through reading eyes into soul. mmmmm. nice to adsorb this re-presentation that speaks so in dissonant harmony.

O God! O God! We have been in exile in another land and a stranger in our own. The mountains were our masters: they went home to our eye and our heart before we came to five. Whatever we can do or say must be forever hillbound. Our senses have been fed by our terrific land; our blood has learned to run to the imperial pulse of America which, leaving, we can never lose and never forget. We walked along a road in Cumberland, and stooped, because the sky hung down so low; and when we ran away from London, we went by little rivers in a land just big enough. And nowhere that we went was far: the earth and the sky were close and near. And the old hunger returned — the terrible and obscure hunger that haunts and hurts Americans, and that makes us exiles at home and strangers wherever we go. — Thomas Wolfe

movie

see Come and See by Elem Klimov — a movie that pressed certain icons into my awareness a year or so after it was released (1985), at the International Film Series at CU-Boulder. I think I went with Chris to that screening, almost 20 years ago. but the imagery of the film remained present and powerful. the machine of war. long single takes and shots always seduce my eye. like the opening shot in Schindler’s List — impossibly long and powerful. Klimov ends Come and See with an incredible steady-cam movement through a dense forest, following the marching partisans. films should leave images in the psyche. that’s what mediation does, finds a means to impress the eye, and so the soul. guard this with care.

places, sounds, words

portrait, Sirpa, Mission 17 Gallery, San Francisco, California, June 2005

make a blitz into downtown to meet Sirpa and check out her exhibition in the Mission. we met nearby at her friend Alice’s home and drive down to the gallery, the Mission 17 Gallery. parking is a hassle, with my boat-length pick-up. not used to driving it in compact urban settings. walk down Mission, thinking that this setting is almost identical to Brixton in London when I was there with Pete. urban complexity, noise, confusing information flows, mixed cultural impulses, chaotic surface intersections and orientations.
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dis-orientation

the immediate sensation of walking in the desert is that of dis-orientation, not as though the earth is not located in gravitational alignment with the body, but just that local principles of verticality and level are distorted by the radiating fields of each feature of the landscape. the barrel cactus making a vortex, the Joshua Tree making a rushing multiplicity of whorls that snake through the air in frozen torment. the Saguaro, massive, rakes the moving air with so many spiny teeth that there is a rush not so different from that through the branches of a live oak, in the fall when the leaves are stuck in crinkled brown misery, waiting for some winter storm to end it all.

I stumble slowly in random directions. stopping every few minutes to examine some thing, no, some tableau, of intricate intensity. first it is the flowers, the huge ones on some of the smaller barrel cactus, the color of which cannot be mapped on a spectral scale. it is beyond red, crimson, scarlet, and carnelian together. then the small yellow-orange poppies, scattered widely, punctuating, defining vertices. then there are the rest of the flowers, purple, white, yellow, spectral and brilliant, defining scale. then the variety of cacti. birds, seldom actually seen, unlike the red-tailed hawk that signaled the place to stop for the night. but there is plenty of song throughout the air. stone and earth given from volcanism, basalts and pyroclastics, with rare SiO2 thermal depositions. what looks like a man-chipped white quartz flake in one stream bed. nothing else of interest locally. one wash has some standing water alive with insects and larva in the water. butterflies and hornets, wasps drinking. water seeming fresh, but another week and it will be gone. for the rest of the 4 months until the monsoon brings an occasional flash-flood. then the sky, with a patterned layer of high-altitude clouds coming from a NW low pressure, bringing something from the Pacific. not rain, but only the dimness of vapor sun Light. something of a relief here in the day, at night, keeping the land-warmth in a bit. I walk for perhaps four hours, stopping frequently, in an outward spiral from the space-vehicle that brought me here. seeing it on occasion, far off and small, alien. near it’s track. forward advance was halted by a hill a bit too steep and rutted and graveled to gain traction. the powerful urge to buy a 4×4 Tacoma nags at my hydrocarbon-nurtured soul. the soul born of the road-trip. a extravagant luxury in the near future. and only a strange memory for the next generation. grabbing food, bedding, tents, stoves, chairs, axe, bug-repellent, sun-screen, and some good friends, and head out, some where. topping the tank off at the last outpost.

with the clouds, Phoenix announces itself 120 miles away with a malevolent reddish glow reaching up about 15 degrees from the southeast horizon between two mesas. it brightens while I watch Jupiter, led by its four main satellites, pulling it like a globular puppet on invisible strings up the ecliptic plane. the two main tropic bands easily visible, the spot not apparent. (more images)

For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worth-while challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking, looking, breathlessly. — Carlos Castenada

jd

John Douglas and I met virtually back in 1995 or so, as a result of the PORT MIT exhibition. his creative feeds to my inbox are a hard-hitting deLight to bring solid soul back into life when psychic drift and political psyop-subduction are rife.

dessert

dinner with Joanna, Jo, and Pete. Joanna makes/brings a sumptuous dessert of fresh fruit, ice cream, raspberry sauce, and meringue dollops for six-to-twelve that the four of us finish off.

daylong conversations range from Northern Soul to Arts Council politics to management theory to Chelsea’s UEFA cup aspirations to cooking dahl and curried eggs to locative media and media art.

loss and gain

after yesterday’s delay, finally arrive in England after a routine flight and no luck locating my lost sunglasses at Heathrow. so, this is the biggest material loss I’ve had on the road in years — actually can’t recall losing something that critical and expensive (impossible) to replace. the frame-style are no longer available to purchase, though perhaps I might be lucky to find an old pair somewhere as I did with my regular glasses. got those for $5 at a flea market in Maine in 1991. nice gold wire-rims. glasses are another one of those items that I have great difficulty in selecting. and actually, I haven’t had a different style since 1980 or so. the temples on my present frames are from glasses that I would wear after surfing, and the salt water in my hair corroded them a bit. the idea of having to get a new pair is daunting. and after getting a pair of reading glasses a couple years ago in Boulder (using the really small round frames that I bought in Paris in 1982), I found that it is brutally expensive to get glass lenses anymore. I don’t like the plastic ones as they are so Light they fly off the face easily, and they just don’t wear well over time (scratching). but I think this is a paradigm similar to the ink-jet printer business — where lenses are made to ‘wear out’ quickly, and you have to replace them on a regular basis. oh well, not facing it yet, but as soon as getting back to Arizona it becomes necessary to deal. it would be impossible to spend any time outdoors this summer there (and in Colorado) without having sunglasses. the UV radiation is exceptionally strong and I get fried eyes even with the old and very dark sunglasses. hmmmm.

Pete is into a finely eclectic range of music (fantastic vinyl collection!) — resonating my own criteria defined simply by the maxim “whatever sounds good.” he gives me a great intro to the whole Northern Soul situation from the 60’s and 70’s with a collection of 25-plus cd’s that, after I do a clean install of OSX on his G4 tower, I proceed to rip the collection for him.

local color

If thou art worn and hard beset
With sorrows that thou wouldst forget,
If thou wouldst read a lesson that will keep
Thy heart from fainting and thy soul from sleep,
Go to the woods and hills! No tears
Dim the sweet look that Nature wears.
— Longfellow

i.e., get the hell out of town!

rod’s advice

now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take…

And if when night by day is rent, I’m in one piece and so’s me tent
A better person I will be, and if I can’t do that I’ll have a cup of tea,
milk in first and I’ll sugar it myself ta.
— r.s)

on the way

days alternate: hiding on the island, and going to meet folks. wandering to the ferry through the ice-fog. while meeting Sanna in Café Succés on Korkeavourenkatu, Visa sees me and drops in. on my first visit to Finland, in 1994, and then in early 1995, when I did a gig at Media Lab, I stayed in what was his printing studio, around the corner from the café. to save money on the Nordplus teaching exchange, I had a tea and wienari (a cinnamon and glazed pseudo-spiral of pastry dough with a berry jam center) for breakfast. earl gray. bergamot. it was enough to carry me until the institutional lunch at the university which packed belly with the standard fare. pea soup with ham on Thursdays. all across the country. anyway, it’s my favorite café in Helsinki, they have the largest and best wienari in town, made on the premises fresh daily. there is a constant level of coming and going, intimate meetings, where old lovers can have tea and conversation that drifts through all the subjects that once were whispered with entwined and humid breath in nights of late spring, no longer dark in these latitudes. tulips on the table are chosen with a color to match the only dressy shirt available, and time is mapped in eyes and souls. nothing changed, and only the future is left. the past is past. dialogue after dialogue. one, another, another, yet another. life spent in this vocal dance. and occasionally in the Lighter dance of embodied soul, where corporeal centers of gravity press close and don’t need calculus to predict a potent trajectory.

if only. on the edge of the seat, looking onto the eyes. averting when the intensity of that looking is too much. trying to see heart behind glassy lens. but, after awhile, nothing to do but be. effort for this is neither rewarded nor punished, only just tolerated. better to stay in the moment, forget past and future. be an oracle for the self. and when wandering back slowly to the island, Lightly entwined for warmth, words slowly pressed from the atmosphere, silence filled with iced breath. first some tea to warm hands, then rearranging the furniture, pushing beds together.

the issue is, on this residency, what exactly to do? or not to do?? some things are done already.

the soul catching up

early morning, seeing Stefan off to the Manhattan train in the accumulated six inches of snow. wanted to rise as early as possible to stay with the body-time shift accrued in Iceland, in anticipation of a long and tiring day today. travel days have become, in the last few years, the source of parallel migraines of some degree. don’t really feel the connection overtly between the actual travel and the headache, but the fact that they come on those days and seldom otherwise makes it clear there is a one. but how? just the stress of travel? which, by now, shouldn’t really even be a stress. the dislocative process? the rising unknown of what is at the other end? dunno. diet doesn’t seem to impact the severity, only sleep. that the body undergoes stress along with travel is somewhat clear. the break in routines, and the ‘un-natural’ conditions of motion applied to the body by the variety of technological means used.

heavy snow in Copenhagen, delayed commuter prop flight to Hamburg, Christian there waiting despite bad roads. turn around after arriving at their place in Kiel to train it to Lübeck to meet Hubertus and Mindaugas to go over details in preparation for next Monday’s workshop start since they will be in Estonia for the first week of my visit. Lübeck has streets of ice, accidents everywhere. get the keys for my little flat in the Altstadt of the city, on a narrow alleyway. catching up in listening and comprehending in German. comfortable. train-riding, bahnhofs, backerei, and all. conversations of trans-language.

packing up

packing. sifting, shuffling, tottering. readying for the next shift of realities. talking to folks in Germany today, beginning to peg things down for the spring. moving in directions that have the open, unknown elements. along with terrains of the soul.

Cleveland Hopkins 1910 – 2003

Dad passes this evening. after this long struggle, and a long life. code blue, Janet calls, racing into the hospital. Nancy and Mom there, holding his hands. His heart couldn’t bear more time here. I am just home from school, exhausted. Stop what I am doing, and concentrate on a slender thread of consciousness. Light some incense. Crumble some sage harvested for just this purpose from the depths of Sand Canyon off the Yampa, press it deep into the palms, smelling the released sweetness. Burn some, the smoke mixing with the incense. An intuitive impulse says “write the time now.” on a 3×5 card, I write the time, 6:52. A call comes ten minutes later, he has passed. As birth is the surfacing, death is the submerging of soul back into its own, its transitory place. time shivers, small waves move outward, and the bardo of passing opens. Unmeasured intuition and connection. Still small voices, suspension of the material presence.
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blood of christ

sotto voce: The years drift by, suspended, swirling. Here in Crestone, standing, walking, sitting on the roots of the Blood of Christ mountains. An old Volkswagen goes by. Camping and wondering about everything. Watching self (over-consciousness. Trying to feel the place.) Leaving Colorado soon. Too soon. Sometimes a thought how to damn my connection to the Place. That I could move, complete, away, fully en-souled, but that does not happen.

en-souled life & long-lost lack

back again. this place. and what it measures in the bodily en-souled life-ness. trekking to new spaces within the grand scaled confluence. looking, remembering, finding new places, small places within large spaces. human nature. ground turning turning under stars of immediate motion and a vastly Lightful moon on a balanced equinox time scale. Green River now brown with rain-spawned silt, cold from venting from the Flaming Gorge dam upstream, that and winter-coming snows already falling at head-water regions above 9000 feet.

no mention of the Other events, too unworkable to go with. and keeping with a long-lost lack of presence. stress of, and such.

mapping transitions

almost a month later. in the middle of a conference. mapping transitions. academic discourse. so. stream notes. what do pictues want? god is an artist. reductions (models, models, models, built on each other, intertwined. biocybernetics. science/technology making bio-sciences possible. cloning and computers. extended sense. political economy that runs the world. world of computer station, tangled wires. cybernetics: the steersman. kybernaut. writing as control system. not law, but the actual technologic/semiotic (phonetic) tools. (code writers). conflict of visual orgy and at the time of triumph of the digital (logos). analogical arguments. (dominant). terminator of liquid metal. ultimate simulator. academicians desperately searching for a label. an interpretive system to decode what the hell is going on. building a new model with old embedded pieces which have no inherent difference in structural predicate. sa-mo, sa-mo. formative paradigms are old. 1) copy original 2) artist and work (subject:object) 3) temporality (remember Virilio, huh?) 4) time of gain. uniqueness. copy has more aura than original.

enhancements of amplification (reproduction): are they qualitative improvements? reproductive cloning — an improvement?

actual and mediated. (electronic media is given a certain status of unprecedented power.) “new media.” participates in “massaged” production. mechanistic view. the aesthetics of digital media? (what about defining what the hell “digital media” is? (instead of defining it’s “fit” into the hegemonic/dominant worldview). hybrid aesthetics? why not just toss it out…? simulation. materialistic presence. current, seeking closure in the circuit. remix, unlocking input and output authenticity. (digital images and digital culture and rituals of new media). new vs traditional: imitations. virtuality. ontological status. proper character. procedural, conceptual (don’t fit…). anti-materialist. (medium is not the point). thesis-antithesis. we’re not allowed to make progress? hierarchies of form. perfection of expression. useful ways to talk about objects. (and subject experience). taste. rational cultivation. descriptive systems assume static forms of … aesthetics of change. mechanistic production. potential literature. procedural methods. with certain sensibilities. floods of wards. static bodies in space. reading texts. monolithic and reified forms of presentation. (any tweaking of of meta shakes the whole tree, gimme a chain saw). key forms of reference — generative: Pannini, Turing, Babbage, procedural, Stockhausen, and so on. iterative. new objects. rethink premises of knowledge production. aesthetics is about awareness. (iterative), step beyond — in flux. two feet in the mechanistic…

swarming

taking quantum to its conclusion — points to a movement from product to process to practice — (Saskia Sassen — the “meaning” of the activities in the digital sphere is the total accumulation of all practices that take place in that space … MAKE THE LEAP…

anthropological centrism. mapping transitions. (remembering the new world order is a limited access, top of a hierarchical high). indigenous technology. Inuit Broadcast Corporation. media-maintenance. next5minutes comes up, tactical media. good topic.

reproduction (gathering and redistribution of original energized event creates a pseudo-powerful illusion, but this is purely illusion based on the hegemonic (and static) position of the “reproducer” within an implied “global” order … the photograph in the world order (re-radiated Light from the self.) … some forms of hypertext with image are nice, but. just ’cause it’s horizontal?

Anyone who has common sense will remember that the bewilderments of the eyes are of two kinds, and arise from two causes, either from coming out of the light or from going into the light, which is true of the mind’s eye, quite as much as of the bodily eye; and he who remembers this when he sees anyone whose vision is perplexed and weak, will not be too ready to laugh; he will first ask whether that soul of man has come out of the brighter life, and is unable to see because unaccustomed to the dark, or having turned from darkness to the day is dazzled by excess of light. And he will count the one happy in his condition and state of being, and he will pity the other; or, if he have a mind to laugh at the soul which comes from below into the light, there will be more reason in this than in the laugh which greets him who returns from above out of the light into the den. — Plato’s Cave

caves, CAVES, and caves. technocracy. aristocracy of technology. networks of expensive, institution-oriented situations, (isolated from the Light, Light re-amplified, reflected, refracted, energized). “gotta have content.” flippant sycophant, mouthpiece of the complex. access. high-end polarity. slick-packaged technological. famous last words. manipulation and collaborative interaction. glib passing over any moral embeddedness of the power structure. fair use. attitudes of use.

migraine

Waking up in an expensive cheap motel in Gallup. A hole of a town. Along “Historic Route 66,” a place in a long slide since Interstate 40 sliced across New Mexico, Arizona, and California and made that quaint legend a fact: a dead remnant of another level of pop culture and consumer opulence. Gallup is dying slowly.

The drive the day before becomes a gritty and wearing task—made so by one of those damn migraines that I seem to get as often as I travel. What is this about? No answers there, been trying to decode the messages of body on that, but to no rising clarity. Stress? Improper hydration? Too much sugar in the system? Full-body tension? Lack of solid sleep the night before? A friggin’ mystery still. Passing through the landscape of my country. Seeing places that would be soul-stirring, soul-food. Loki not into the isolation. An age thing. Feeling that the time for withdrawing from the things of the world. Where Loki desires friends to play with, and an urban context in which to live. Though he enjoys camping and the outdoors.

Impossible to measure anything. As again I am NOT writing about most of the events in life. Family, relationships, work, blah blah blah, internal feelings, and struggles. Blogging nine years on into the ether.

solstice

it is midsummer. moon waxing, not full yet, but there is not so much that touches the eye with length of day, brightness, or even the memory of winter still etched in body. wintering in Colorado was easy. brilliant, and I repeat to many souls that “you will never hear me complain about the weather here.” how is it that I survived Iceland, Finland, Norway, Sweden, and especially, Lapland? it is all memory. now. some written here, some not.

shuffling through boxes of books and other things, I think: what’s all the energy focused on the reproduction of art? what is the obsession of getting all art configurations onto paper accompanied by words? paper is an easily preserved object, (the archival word), this is a related factor — to avoid the death of the material object, immortality of the material (the thousand year Reich). seems also related to democratic socialism. that the production of culture should be spread to all, equally. though it is, in the end, not egalitarian propagation by any means. the absolution of “you had to be there.” that an individual’s experience should not be singular, it should be reflected from the collective. rooted and growing only from the collective. not the individualized interpretation of unique seeing (as the reproduction applies a stasis to point-of-view (who’s point of view IS it?), it denies a multiplicity of points of view (portals into the realm of the spirit regarding see-ing and be-ing).

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