losing Scrabble

Two days of rather heavy storm leaves about a foot of snow on the ground and ice underneath that. But suddenly late this morning the sun comes out, and all is Arizona once again. Hot sun streaming in the windows, and the snow begins immediately to melt wherever there is something dark nearby. I am hoping they will come and plow the road, though, until they do, we are stuck here. I could risk the drive out, but there is a steep gully about 50 feet down the road with a turn in the middle of it, so it is not unusual to get stuck in it. That plus the quarter-mile long steep hill that runs down to the main road. Easy to slide down, but not so easy to get back up. I wake up with a stiff neck. Really curious how I am having such body troubles here. I have never felt so uncomfortable. And perhaps this relates to the situation of living with parents. People with whom I have little connection except blood-relation. And my money-making possibilities seem to sputter. Making some, but not enough to pay debts and fuel another trip to Scandinavia (or anywhere, for that matter). I am still in some personal limbo. I sit for an hour, watching the flames of the fire through the window of the stove. The window is shaped like a teevee screen, but definitely it shows better content than the teevee … My mother says A penny for your thoughts. And I reply It’ll cost more than that. Buying affection, attention. The insinuation somehow buried in the words. Running into trouble for the Eight Dialogues project already. Lost one Talker to the limits of time, access, knowledge, and technology. I knew it would be difficult. So it goes. I play a game of Scrabble with my mother. She beats me — it’s all the practice she gets doing the daily crossword puzzle in the local paper.