crux of being

Making it on eight hours or less of sleep for the last months. With this monstrous incapability of body. I will visit Maureen, a physical therapist, next Wednesday, and have been taking Traumed, a German homeopathic with Arnica Montana in a cocktail of natural compounds (written in Latin — what is that the language of? Arcaenum. and obscurity). I don’t see the effect, but lying one night on my belly, I explore the geometry of my lower back for some time, tracing the nerves hidden behind muscle wall, tissues, bones, tendons, the fiber of the body. I push, prod body, and ruminate on the sad dysfunction between the medical establishment and self. Knowledge is potent, but I find an equal lack of simple information, simple things that can make a massive difference to how one pictures oneself, and one’s body. And how this physical interface that we carry, hung face-forward on the soul, remains a crux to be-ing.