in the end, I backspace to correct mistakes, erasing up to 20 letters while I sit, surrounded by a group of Japanese tourists, men, maybe on some kind of promotional or business-related travel. they are animated. can I bridge the gap with them? what would be the point? like the drunk guy on the ferry (again) today. he comes to ask me something, but I freeze up. people look through him or away from him, ignoring his singing and talking all the way into Market Square. Niko got me to the ferry at the last minute — his car was stuck in the snow which was falling all day today, heavily. It is about 20C warmer now. but by the time I get the the north, it will be the same there as it was here yesterday. what is it when I sit in the airport, waiting for a flight to board, and just noodle around with this machine. positioning the self. not needing the language of modernity (a hyped-mix of pixellated images and cyber-texts. intervention. processing. wired.) ears popping now. above clouds. horizontal delineations of sky etched in red and blue-grey. leaving Light behind. it was getting bright in Helsinki this week, despite the intense cold. only one more month in, Finland before breaking from Scandinavia for seven weeks. it will be full-tilt springtime when I return. another winter going into the Light. still nothing conclusive with Sanna: the dance of personalities becomes. what. exhausting. no, it is conclusive. I should conclude it. period. yep. that’s it, in making art, I have consistently made the fundamental error of not applying a technique/tool in a research-oriented way. like using a particular medium — my photography as a way of digging into reality and spirituality. not following the classic way of art research.