Long walk in Kaivopuisto and Eira, to the coast, soaking up brilliant sunshine, ensemble with Sanna after some days together. But the physical movement is a mask I wear lately to cover the dis-satisfaction with just about everything I have been up to. Worked many hours on a short video from Riga at medialab, and because not being used to the software (in a daily way), and technical problems with the firewire interface, I end up doing all the editing, and then blow the whole thing, the WHOLE damn thing, and have to stop working before crushing the machine in my hands. Made the decision to leave Finland for the summer, if not permanently. Seems to lack any drama, or possibility opening into viable futures. Sitting at a table looking across to that beautiful other, sinking into the eyes, the eyes, seeing the reflected brilliance of the spring Light.
Basho says
But when all has been said, I’m not really the kind who is so completely enamored of solitude that he must hide every trace of himself away in the mountains and wilds. It’s just that, troubled by frequent illness and weary of dealing with people, I’ve come to dislike society. Again and again I think of the mistakes I’ve made in my clumsiness over the course of the years. There was a time when I envied those who had government offices or impressive domains, and on another occasion I considered entering the precincts of the Buddha and the teaching rooms of the patriarchs. Instead, I’ve worn out my body in journeys that are as aimless as the winds and clouds, and expended my feelings on flowers and birds. But somehow I’ve been able to make a living this way, and so in the end, unskilled and talent-less as I am, I give myself wholly to this one concern, poetry. — Matsuo Munefusa (Basho)