No idle moments to be spent dabbling in web-site improvement. I dream about making some significant art projects this year, but it looks to be a year spent in teaching others, working for others … The snow gets into my cuffs as I step down to the school this morning to take advantage of a decent Internet/ethernet connection. I am able to spend a couple hours getting some items updated. I think constantly about re-doing the entire web site from scratch. Starting from zero. What that would change. Ego is the primary intervening force against clarity of vision. The long string of self-portraits that I have done over the last two decades suddenly come into my face as interventions — either cease the making of them or make them to use them as a tool to knock the ego from its intervening position. Make them so transparent that they show nothing but vision! In the end, it would not be for the Other, these exercises, but purely to loosen the self from the constant grip of the ego. raking leaves was. shoveling snow now. snow transpiring negatively to hard ice under the pressure of daily life. blue ether air twiLight seen between the slats of the dirty beige plastic venetian blinds fluoresces and vibrates. You Vee. like the ozone hole lets in leaks of deep space that, after a singeing from solar radiation, bleeds high frequency blue-ness into our realm. the snow consumes it, the cold consumes it, and it is gone eventually after a slow lingering of one hand of hours. it all makes me lie. it is really subsumed by gravity. I putter through digital letters written only year-ages ago. The archive that I have with me goes back seven digital years.
But do words truly bring us to a higher state of awareness — aren’t they just tools of a technology so old that its origins are inseparable from the origins of human thought? That is, language is merely another one of humankind’s shields from the terror of life on this earth. We are occasionally brilliant enough to realize our own physical weaknesses and subsequently to create prostheses that magnify the energies of our puny bodies, but we are not brilliant enough to recognize that our spiritual strength does not lie in our clever forays against the world, but in the limitless possibilities of the interface of mind-body-spirit, and the choices we make, and the Others we face in spiritual dialogue.