The turn has begun, a shift initiated by the contingencies of the social system that I inhabit and how I determine my relationship with it. As an international educator (learning facilitator) and media artist, the nomadic pathway was sustainable in the present, demonstrably sustainable over the past years, but apparently not into some unknowable future. As the sliding scale of living shifts over time, the indeterminacy of the future [uh, the crap shoot?] (op)presses into the psyche in a way that is unknowable in youth.
The other dimension of the transition is driven by a (lack) of ‘intersection’ (in the Venn A ∩ B sense). A is what I’ve brought to the social system; B is what the social system ‘wants’ to be supplied with. The intersection is what the social system is willing to share its accumulated resources for: for the life-time/life-energy input of the individual.
In this sense I was not able to excavate a niche allowing an accumulation of resources that subsequently would aide in securing that indeterminate future. The concept continually rises to the surface: that no amount of resources will truly secure the future pathway that life takes. And that living without regard to the future is a more authentic path for momentary and cumulative life to take. Isn’t “be here now” a concrete invocation to not allow the illusion of what the future may bring to impose a rigidity, a compression of possibility, on the present?